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Review
“Fearlessly revealing, deeply felt, rigorous and compassionate, She Wants It offers an intimate portrait of Jill Soloway’s remarkable life and, simultaneously, a portrait of the larger human struggle to create, from a revolutionary TV show to a revolution in the culture itself. It’s a rare and, yes, an important book.” —Michael Cunningham “A funny and brutally honest book about what it means to be a woman and what it takes to be a creator, She Wants It is deeply personal but always universal in its unapologetic recounting of a life lived and raw talent shared.” —Amy Poehler"A funny and wise new memoir…that speaks so urgently to our cultural movement…It’s Soloway’s deeply considered and honestly depicted quest for an authentic self that gives this memoir its depth.” —New York Times Book Review “Jill Soloway writes with passion, fierceness, and vulnerability. In She Wants It we read an amazing story of changing worlds—both the one around them, which is forever altered by their groundbreaking series, Transparent, as well as the one dwelling deep within their own unruly heart. She Wants It tells the story of a revolution, both cultural and personal. I often had to pause to laugh, or cry, or simply catch my breath in wonder. Provocative, generous, and inspiring.” —Jennifer Finney Boylan“A timely tell-all.” —InStyle “What an unbelievable pleasure to see the world through Jill’s eyes and bear witness to their incredible journey as an artist, activist, parent, child, sibling, and uncontainable human being. Part memoir, part manifesto, pure magic. Read this book.” —Van Jones “Jill Soloway’s writing remains unparalleled by any other when it comes to entertaining us while slyly changing our culture toward acceptance and equality. She Wants It opens our eyes and makes us giggle all along. You will savor every word.” —Amy Schumer“Refreshingly forthright.” —Bustle “Most writers hide in memoirs, sharing little real stories. With generous openhearted honesty, courage, and compassion, Soloway invites us to hear true stories. They share the difficult painful revelations, triumphs, and failures. Listening to them, readers laugh, cry, love, and most important, learn.” —bell hooks “She Wants It brims with juicy gossip, vulnerable revelation, and rousing calls-to-arms. After I finished reading it, I went out and made my first movie. What will you do?” —Michelle Tea“If anyone has led a more wildly interesting life and written about it more brilliantly than Jill Soloway, this devourer of such hasn’t found it. Grab on, and grab hold! You’ll be laughing and crying the whole way through.” —Norman Lear “This is a story about self-doubt, self-discovery, and the triumph of self-actualization. It is imperative reading for anyone who wants to gain a better understanding of what it means to be Other in this world—what it means to discover who you are, to understand that each of us deserves happiness, and gathering the grit to go after it. I could not put this hilarious and heartfelt book down.” —Chelsea Handler“Soloway’s perspective on sexuality and family is both candid and timely and urges readers to question society’s view of gender and define it for themselves.” —TIME“This intimate, funny memoir. . .is many things at once: a behind-the-scenes look at the entertainment industry, a sometimes tumultuous but ultimately positive coming-out narrative, a wry and reflective family history, a cri de coeur about gender-based societal strictures, and a success story of, after some missteps, building a workplace culture around allyship.” —Publisher’s Weekly (starred review)“Jill Soloway is still the smartest kid in the class, coaxing us all along with them on their profound and daring journey of self-discovery.” —Daphne Merkin “Jill Soloway's extraordinary memoir, She Wants It, is a compendium of the heart, a brave piece of literature which pulses from the page with its unique journey through the grace and guts of living honestly and intentionally in a world that often aims to deny us of both. Jill’s story is both an illumination and an education, one that broke me as a reader, then put me back together again, wholly changed and forever redefined.” —Amber Tamblyn “She Wants It is more than a memoir. It's also a manifesto about the rest of us—about men and women and everyone else, about how this particular moment in time is forcing us to reckon with a sometimes dark and destructive present as well as our national past.” —The Stranger “Jill Soloway is not only a stunningly talented series creator, they're an archangel, here to rid us of the patriarchy. It’s a grand mission and it’s not easy going, She Wants It is their wild-winged, soft-hearted share-all. I loved their book so much—it is about everything I’m interested in; a personal life amidst daring creative endeavors.” —Jane Campion “Pages are just another canvass that Jill uses to share their truth and artistry. She Wants It gives a timely front row seat to gender exploration and storytelling that entertains as it inspires.” —Sarah Kate Ellis “Fierce, funny, and fabulous—this book is a triumph!” —Margaret Cho“An assumption-exploding, smart account of creativity, work, and a decidedly unconventional life.” —Kirkus (starred review) “She Wants It is an extraordinary examination of feminism, ambition, artistic desire, chance, and career by one of the greatest American writer/directors working today. Soloway surveys the trajectory of their life, and the creation of their groundbreaking series Transparent, with courage, self-knowledge, humility, and wit. Their voice got inside me, I was totally hooked.” —Chris Kraus “In a world where gender doesn’t mean what it used to, She Wants It offers so much more than a backstage peek into the autobiographical origins of Transparent. Jill Soloway’s on a quest to figure out feminism for the 21st century—and wants you to want that, too.” —Susan Stryker “Jill Soloway is a very lucky queer. They get every break, and then help people who never get a break. They stumble at intimacy and then soar to new heights of connection and self-knowledge. Jill takes Hollywood to the thorniest questions Hollywood didn’t know existed. This is a rollicking tale of how an enmeshed family sometimes brings out the best.” —Sarah Schulman“Jill Soloway's is one of our culture's most innovative minds, and She Wants It is a keen demonstration of the depth of their insight. As Soloway depicts their intertwined desire to create art with the need to be their complete self, in the face of a culture that seeks to limit them because of their gender, they do so with that ineffable combination of intellect, unpredictability, and wit that has made their films and TV shows so undeniably brilliant. She Wants It is a necessary read for anyone who has ever wrestled with desire, both as an artist and a human being.” —Meredith Talusan “Jill has a brilliant ability to communicate their creative process. The nuts and bolts of bringing a story to fruition, from life, thought, and inspiration to the screen and vice versa. They're fearless about expressing their desires, for creative control, for power, for equality, dammit—with no apologies.” —Susie Bright
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About the Author
JILL SOLOWAY is the Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning creator of Transparent and I Love Dick. Their first feature film, Afternoon Delight, won the 2013 Directing Award at Sundance. Their work can also be seen in Six Feet Under, How to Make It in America, and United States of Tara. An activist and artist, Jill cofounded 5050by2020, East Side Jews, and the spoken word series Sit n’ Spin. Jill lives in Los Angeles.
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Product details
Hardcover: 256 pages
Publisher: Crown Archetype (October 16, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781101904749
ISBN-13: 978-1101904749
ASIN: 1101904747
Product Dimensions:
5.7 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.1 out of 5 stars
30 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#199,810 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I enjoyed this book as much as I enjoyed watching Transparent. Her description of parenting was spot on and entertaining. But, sometimes I had some difficulty following. I was reading about a place and time but then she abruptly switched to a different place and time so I found myself a little confused. I am familiar with where she grew up and the community she grew up in so that was interesting to me. I would have liked to understood more of how her fathers gender change affected her own change because they seemed to be in tandem. I also wonder how much tv shows like Transparent have an actual effect on our culture. I see the young fathers now taking more responsibility for what had been traditionally mothers roles and actually planning the birthday parties themselves, etc. A powerful and welcome shift.
My partner read the book and I listed to the author read it on audible. Bother we’re great experience and the book was great.
Everyone needs to read this book!
Fantastic book. Highly recommend.
As a fan of Transparent, I was excited to score an uncorrected proof of Jill Soloway’s (they, them, theirs) new book She Wants It: Desire, Power, and Toppling the Patriarchy from NetGalley. Soloway is also an alum of University of Wisconsin-Madison and queer, so I have always been curious about them. I was quickly hooked after the first few pages of reading about their childhood, their family, and their feminist awakening via a crush on a particular UW women’s studies professor who was a “k.d. lang-lookalike.†I couldn’t wait to hear Soloway’s words of wisdom about toppling the patriarchy.From the start, I found the book to be smart, sharp, and witty; Soloway would be someone to go have a drink with, to be sure. I laughed out loud a number of times.I enjoyed reading about Soloway’s kids, their career and the fight to get Transparent made, as well as the journeys Soloway and their parent went through regarding their gender identities. I also appreciated Soloway’s candor and bravery in sharing these stories as well as those concerning their own learning processes.Unfortunately, I was left a bit unfulfilled waiting for Soloway’s inspirational calls to action on fighting the patriarchy. Soloway explains the “Topple Principles†that were created to guide the development of Transparent. These included, “Our revolution must be intersectional,†and “Be brave.†They describe the formation of #TimesUp but with a generous sprinkling of name-droppings. Soloway tackles traditional gender roles and feeling as though they had fallen short of being the good mother, the good wife, the good daughter. These moments of vulnerability are powerful but too few.Soloway carefully confronts the sexual harassment allegations some trans co-stars made against Transparent lead Jeffrey Tambor. While candid about Tambor’s moodiness and downright aggression on set, Soloway relays the sexual harassment situation with an arm’s-length treatment that surprised and disappointed me.The main title, She Wants It, is spot-on as the major theme throughout the book is Soloway’s persistent quest for creative (and commercial) success. But based on the subtitle of the book, I wanted a deeper examination of the patriarchy from Soloway’s perspective as a (albeit white, privileged, and famous) nonbinary queer person in the entertainment industry. While I found the book intriguing as an entertainment memoir, it fell short as a manifesto on toppling the patriarchy. And this is okay – to be fair, Soloway never calls this a manifesto and they have more than enough juicy stories to fill a memoir as a heavy-hitter in Hollywood – but I wanted more. I was left wishing that Soloway had imparted more of their thoughts about how the reader can join the fray against the patriarchy.A quick read, the book is enjoyable overall. I would recommend this book to fans of Transparent or Jill Soloway’s other works; I could see how those who haven’t watched Transparent may not get as much out of the book. It’s also recommended for those who enjoy celebrity memoirs or those who crave reading nonbinary voices.
She Wants It is a Hollywood film and television memoir by Jill Soloway. Jill is the writer/director of Amazon’s Transparent. Transparent is based on Jill’s real life.Jill’s father was depressed and a mostly absent workaholic father during her childhood. After Jill and her sister, Faith, went to college, their parents divorced.During an early morning phone call, Jill is the first family member to which her father comes out to as trans. Jill’s first thought is this is part of her story and she was going to tell it. If her father can become Carrie London, why can’t she become the film writer/director she always aspired to be?Jill polished up an old script and it was green-lighted. After post-production is complete and Afternoon Delight is submitted to Sundance, Jill goes with Faith to meet their father for the first time as a woman. When her terminally ill aunt asks her to deliver a card to her father asking him not to dress as a woman at the aunt’s funeral, she begins writing Transparent.She Wants It is a great memoir of how someone hurtles the obstacles of getting a screenplay developed in Hollywood. It also incorporates a bit about Jill’s life as a wife and mother of two. There are many psychological asides about life and her own journey to understanding the non-binary world. I was expecting more about the real-life childhood experiences of having a trans parent. However, for those looking for a Hollywood memoir, this is a good choice. It just wasn’t what I was looking for and I never felt connected to the author though her personal story is heartfelt. 3 stars.Thanks to Crown Publishing and NetGalley for an advance copy.
Given the title of the memoir, I'd expected something different from the author. However, I thought it was less about Desire, Power, and Toppling the Patriarchy than it was about muddling through the writer's love life and an eerily close relationship with Faith, her sister, that she kept alluding to. It all felt oddly disjointed, jumping from topic to topic. Things moved so quickly you couldn't quite get a grasp on the scenes and what was being conveyed.Parts of the memoir were interesting. I was fascinated by how Transparent came to be and how the writer was recognizing her own privilege in writing the show, whom she hired, etc. But some of it felt like name dropping and unnecessary. The end of the novel touched briefly on the accusations against Jeffrey Tambor, which also don't paint the writer in a good light during a conversation with the victim.
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